Heaven and Lightening

Read this in one night. Along with a handful of oreos and a river of tears. Not kidding, cried alllll. niiiiight. looooong. It got me thinking about things. LOTS of things. Like:

-babies

-marriage

-family

-life

-love

-happiness and joy

-humility

-"beauty"

-rising from the ashes

ya know, that kinda stuffs.

It also got me thinking about how much I pout and whimper about the "un-fun" parts of pregnancy and becoming a mom and how my life will never ever ever never be the same again. 

Then I thought about a conversation that I had with my brother in law (he's about my brother's age) when we were talking about marriage/getting married.  I said how girls look for long term commitment (will this person support me? stick around while I carry his children? provide for me? Is he really worth having in my life? etc) and he looked at me with panicked, big saucer eyes and said:

"Man. I never want to get married if it's like that. Way too much pressure."

Then I told him, marriage is hard work and I won't deny that, but the things that are worth the most, are worth the most work. Married life is tough sometimes, but I could make a list just as long, if not longer, about all the GREAT things too.

Then...

LIGHT BULB.

Do I EVERRR hear a mom say, "Man, this mommy thing totally bites. I don't even like the kid"? Yeah, like never.

Moms pretty much always end their piece with "...but it was/is totally worth it in the end"

The things that are worth the most, are worth the most work.

That's gotta be how having babies work too, right?

Nienie talks about all the wonderful experiences she has as a mom, how she had always wanted to be a mom and she still lets her cute bebe'z jump off the sofa, run through the sprinklers in their backyard in just diapers and lets her house get messy to make time to play dollies and army men with them.

Made me feel OK about this new adventure.

I will not be perfect and maybe working in the field I do, makes me more nervous and scared

(then I say to myself: calm down girlfriend, not like you are going to give birth to a dozen special needs children all at once...)

But her book made me think about all the things to look forward to...like birthday parties. and baby Halloween costumes. and Baby's First Christmas ornaments. and baby laughs. and baby toes.

and that kinda stuff.

You should read it. But not if you're extra hormonal, because you will cry and have extra swollen eyeballs for a day (at least) like I did.

In other news.

I am now experiencing this lovely symptom affectionately called

Lightening Crotch

Ever heard of it? Yeah, me neither, until now and lemme tell you IT SUCKS.

Feels like you've been sucker punched right in your lady parts. Imagine a big fatty bruise right on the bone (and other places) and you keep getting re-punched every time you stand up/sit down.

So I'm walking around work, grabbing my back like an old lady and walking like a veteran cowboy with a sore booty (to boot).

This is what I get for not being nauseous anymore.

lame.

-A